OLD Whidbey Life Magazine

Author: Suzanne Kelman

  • Sue the Screenwriter || And the Winner is… My Academy Adventure

    Sue the Screenwriter || And the Winner is… My Academy Adventure

    BY SUZANNE KELMAN
    October 28, 2015

    It’s a pretty exciting day when you get a call from the Academy of Motion Pictures.

    And I was knee-deep in planting bulbs in the garden when it happened. I stood there in my black fleece and my red polka dot wellies, a plant tray in one hand and the Academy in the other. Well, not the whole Academy because they wouldn’t fit. But Greg Beal was on the phone. He runs the most prestigious screenwriting competition in Hollywood and he had called me personally to inform me our script had now reached the top ten.

    It's the Academy on the phone... (photo by the author!)
    It’s the Academy on the phone… (photo by the author!)

    As I continued to talk with him in my professional voice, my son joined me in the garden and mouthed the words at me “what’s for lunch” and my dog suddenly bolted off across the property, barking after a deer that was feeding on windfall apples. Just a normal day for me, I thought, as I chased after her, with a sentence that started: “yes, you can have the Academy publicist contact me on this number” and ended with “Macaroni Cheese, and no, you don’t chase the deer.” As I scooped up the puppy under my arm and hung up the phone, I mused the finer points of bios, press releases and red tulips and was struck by how bizarre my life can be.

    But as my thoughts spanned my two drifting worlds I couldn’t help but be so grateful. I get to do the things I most love in the world: be a normal mom, animal wrangler, chicken feeder, garden digger, dog chaser and, also, throw on an “off-island” outfit and create slick bio shots, write incredible stories and swank off down to Hollywood. It can be a little odd and disconcerting, but mostly an enjoyable experience.

    I think so many of us who live on the rock probably experience something similar. With the far-reaching opportunities of the interweb we can live our cottage and farm lives with llamas, dogs and chickens while at the same time our professional lives move around the world electronically dressed in their pinstriped suits. I feel very grateful because I get to live exactly where I want to live, (I’m not a fan of L.A.) and still create the stories I want to for the screen. What an amazing time we live in.

    Oscar, Oscar
    Oscar, Oscar… (photo by the author)

    “Don’t let it change you,” a conscientious person warned me, on hearing the news that the script “Held” that I’d written with Susannah Rose Woods had made it through the cut of 7,500 other scripts. “Change me into what?” I asked; I already have everything I ever wanted in life, so where would I go? If my Hollywood career stopped tomorrow, I have already had enough adventures to keep my grandchildren entertained for hours, so I’m going to kick up my heels and enjoy every moment of it until someone discovers who I really am and throws me out of The Golden State right on my rural ear.

    Next week I will kick off my wellies, pull leaves out of my hair and travel down to LA-LA land to attend the Academy Awards Ceremony for the Nicholl Fellowship. I am traveling down with my good friend Eric Mulholland. It is only fitting he attends with me; as you may remember from a past post, I forgot his name at the first award ceremony I attended and won. Not forgot to mention him, just forgot his name completely. It was very embarrassing, forgetting my friend of seven years who had journeyed to LA especially with me to pick up the award, as I conveniently remembered the name of his friend who I’d met an hour before!

    So now I have my friend’s name tattooed on my brain just in case.

    Suzanne Kelman and Susannah Rose Woods are finalists for the 2015 Academy Nicholl Fellowships (photo by the author)
    Suzanne Kelman and Susannah Rose Woods are finalists for the 2015 Academy Nicholl Fellowships (photo by the author)

    I’m pretty excited to be placed in the top ten, which is a huge honor. They even sent me an awesome plaque, which has pride of place on my wall.

    Isaacs & Swicord
    Cheryl Boone Isaacs, left, and Robin Swicord, right (photo courtesy of the author)

    And this is not just because it reminds me of what is possible while living on an Island in Washington. The plaque is signed by two incredible women: Cheryl Boone Isaacs, the first female African-American President of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts Sciences, and also Robin Swicord, who is my mentor and inspiration. She is the Chair of the Academy Nicholl Fellowships committee and also the screenwriter of two of my favorite films ever, “Memoirs of a Geisha” and “Little Women.”

    As I board the plane I will take the heart of this community with me as—even though I know how to play professional screenwriter—I’m also just a mum in red polka dot wellies who gets to live in the best place on earth.

    Suzanne Kelman is a screenwriter and author of “The Rejected Writers Book Club.” Her writing voice has been described as a perfect blend of Janet Evanovich and Debbie Macomber. Some of her accolades include best comedy feature screenplay at the 2011 LA International Film Festival, a Gold Award at the 2012 CA Film Awards and a Van Gogh Award at the 2012 Amsterdam Film Festival. She can also sing Puff the Magic Dragon backwards! You can learn more about her on imDb.   Image at top by Kim Tinuviel

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    WLM stories and blogs are copyrighted and all rights are reserved. Linking is permitted. To request permission to use or reprint content from this site, email info@whidbeylifemagazine.org.

  • Sue the Screenwriter || Memoirs from the Ledge of ‘Oh, how in the Heck did I Get here’

    Sue the Screenwriter || Memoirs from the Ledge of ‘Oh, how in the Heck did I Get here’

    BY SUZANNE KELMAN
    August 26, 2015

    Many of us who are ‘creatives’ know the challenge it can be to make a living doing what we love, which is, of course, making art. Some artists take on jobs outside their home to subsidize their art “habit.” I take on multiple writing and film producing assignments in the hope that one of my ships will come happily sailing home.

    Let me repeat that…in the HOPE that ONE of my ships would come sailing home. And. after working at this writing habit for five years, often doing 12 hour days, what happened this summer was the arrival of the equivalent of a writing Armada.

    KelmanWelcome to Kelman Harbor. You can’t get a toothpick between all the ships that are fighting their way into dry dock right now.

    In the month of August alone, I became an Executive and a Co-producer for two separate movie projects, one of which is winning major awards. I also had the unique opportunity to write the ending for another movie that was filmed in Ireland, giving me my much-desired IMDb writing credit.

    Then there was much cheering as my stage play, “Over my dead body,” was a winner in the well-respected Annual Writers Digest Competition. Then, on the back of that celebration, my script “Held,” which I wrote with Susannah Rose Woods, battled it over 16,000 other scripts to make it to the top 1% of not one, but two, very prestigious competitions. One of them is run by the Academy of Motion Pictures (that’s right, those are the people that are right now polishing Oscars for the Academy Awards next year.) Then to add a huge dollop of cream to the top of my cake, my book “The Rejected Writers Book Club” was just picked up by a major Publisher.

    Phew, it was tiring just writing all that and the month’s not over yet.

    And it’s not that I’m complaining—no, Siree! Because this outcome means each of these projects was well received in the world. I am, in fact, ecstatic, (if not a little mystified). It’s just—I wasn’t prepared for the workload that comes with navigating all your celebrated cargo safely home. Right now I’m desperately spinning all my plates to keep up with the demand to respond to the needs that arise from each success.

    I am mystified because I didn’t become a writer to become successful. I write because I enjoy the sheer delight of throwing the clay of words onto a spinning potter’s wheel and seeing how many funny and amusing shapes I can make with them.

    I’m like a kindergartener at her first pottery class. “Oh, look! I can make a long smoochie tower if I roll it up like this!” Then if I smack it with my fist and stick my thumbs in, it becomes a fat wobbly pot! It’s all about the sheer delight of writing for me because I love it. It’s fun to throw down words like a gauntlet, words that come cavorting and cascading out of my odd little brain in their own wild and abundant exuberance. I have my own little personal circus of words.

    But I realized a couple of things in all of this homecoming cheering.

    Firstly, there is a ledge between “fighting your way up to the top and having enough money to pay people to help you” that I didn’t know about. It’s called the ridge of “how in the heck did I get here!” I think there isn’t a successful small business owner that doesn’t know what I’m talking about: the “Ledge of In-Between.”

    Then secondly, I kept throwing things out into the world day after day, month after month, year after year, hoping that one of them would do well but with no plan for them if they did. And as far as I know there are no “how to manage your success” classes, only “how to become successful” classes. Once you’re hanging off the ledge of “oh heck, how did I get here,” the only help up is the big boot of the universe as it kicks your patootie in the success door. And you have to figure the rest out for yourself.

    But it was as I was hanging by my fingernails that something struck me; it’s you guys who have made me successful—my readers, my Superfans, my family and friends. My book publisher informed me that my Amazon and Goodreads reviews were something they had taken into consideration before they approached me. So, never underestimate the power of YOUR words. The truth is without someone to enjoy and celebrate my words they are just… well, words.

    So, this post is just a roundabout Kelman style way to say “thank you.” Thank you for not only believing in me but voting for me with your incredible Amazon and Goodreads reviews, Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter posts. I always feel pretty humbled by the praise, not unlike a waitress that has just been thanked for preparing the fabulous dinner you just enjoyed. When all I did was be a careful vessel of the delivery from the story house of the universe. The inspiration, the humor, the sheer joy I enjoy in my work all comes from somewhere else, something I have no control over—the enormous sea of storytelling that surrounds us all; I am just grateful to have been blessed with a rather large, quirky and absurd fishing net.

    Suzanne Kelman is a screenwriter and author of “The Rejected Writers Book Club.” Her writing voice has been described as a perfect blend of Janet Evanovich and Debbie Macomber. Some of her accolades include best comedy feature screenplay at the 2011 LA International Film Festival, a Gold Award at the 2012 CA Film Awards and a Van Gogh Award at the 2012 Amsterdam Film Festival. She can also sing Puff the Magic Dragon backwards! You can learn more about her on IMDb.

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    CLICK HERE to read more WLM stories and blogs. Have a great story idea? Let us know at info@whidbeylifemagazine.org.

    WLM stories and blogs are copyrighted and all rights are reserved. Linking is permitted. To request permission to use or reprint content from this site, email info@whidbeylifemagazine.org.

  • Sue the Screenwriter || Kelman on the Carpet at Cannes

    Sue the Screenwriter || Kelman on the Carpet at Cannes

    BY SUZANNE KELMAN
    June 10, 2015

    So I had the incredible opportunity to attend the 68th Cannes Film Festival last month to support the film “Our Father,” of which I am an associate producer. But my experience wasn’t quite what I had expected, or what I had seen on “E!”

    First of all, Cannes—during the festival—is an experience that is difficult to put into words! “It’s like Miami on Crack,” one producer joked with me, which is an excellent way to describe the electric vibe that exudes from every pore of this famous Riviera town for ten days.

    Suzanne in all her finery, readying herself for the WALK! (photo courtesy of the author)
    Suzanne in all her finery, readying herself for the WALK! (photo courtesy of the author)

    I arrived late on a Sunday night, expecting the world to be asleep, and drove straight into a street party—music, flashing lights and wall-to-wall people. As we crawled through the mayhem to my hotel that was, thankfully, a mile out of town, I felt like singing, “Put your shoes on Lucy—don’t you know you’re in the city.”

    I have to admit, though, it didn’t take me long to get into the Cannes buzz; my days became a whirlwind of meeting people, cocktail parties, listening to celebrities, producers and directors talk about their films, more parties, and movies—lots and lots of movies. There are special movie editions of the Hollywood Reporter and Variety, movies on posters, movies on flags, movies on the beach and movies playing in theatres—all day and night. Meanwhile, millions of dollars are trading hands as movies are being bought and sold all around town.

    And, of course, there are the red carpet events. To score a red carpet ticket was actually potluck. Every day, an email informed me if I’d managed to make the cut for the following day. It was on day three that I got the golden email and an invitation to the Lumiere Theatre to see Emily Blunt’s new film “Sicario” at the 3 p.m. showing.

    I was overjoyed but, having had a few unfortunate experiences with sparkly Hollywood events in the past—like the time I left the bathroom at the Beverly Hills Film Festival with my ballgown caught in my Spanx—I really did not want a repeat of Kelman Klutz in France where everything is “oh, so chic!” So to prepare myself I went to study the carpet I had waited my whole life to walk.

    The (Very Same) Red Carpet upon which Suzanne Kelman had the Amazing Good Fortune to WALK! (photo by the author)
    The (Very Same) Red Carpet upon which Suzanne Kelman had the Amazing Good Fortune to WALK! (photo by the author)

    The Red Carpet journey into the Lumiere Theatre is long—a vast walkway barricaded by security with hoards of photographers high on a lofty platform. And with forty-plus stairs to navigate, it’s a ballgown-and-heel-wearer’s nightmare. Film industry peeps are lined up in rows, and there is red carpet etiquette. No selfies, no bothering celebrities and the “heels rule” that caused a right-ruckus while I was there. Apparently, the carpet “police” had turned women away for wearing flat shoes at Cate Blanchett’s premiere the day before, (to which Emily Blunt had responded by saying “I think everyone should wear flats… to be honest.” She called it “very disappointing, obviously.”)

    So heels it was. The day of the event I had meetings in the morning and later in the evening and, as my hotel was a mile out of town, I had no choice but to ride the bus that day with my ball gown over my arm and said heels in my hand. I couldn’t help wondering, as I gazed out the window, how Emily would be faring for her premiere. I didn’t see her on the bus, so I guessed she had it covered.

    The Most Special and Most Prized (and Most Lucky) Ticket to the Red Carpet that... (photo by the author)
    The Most Special and Most Prized (and Most Lucky) Ticket to the Red Carpet that Suzanne Kelman had the Amazing Good Fortune to WALK!! Oh, and there was a movie, too… (photo by the author)

    There were other problems to overcome, too. For instance, with no bathrooms at the American Pavilion—where I spent most of my day—I had to use the bathrooms in the Marche de Film, or “the Market” as we called it. This is a vast exhibition hall where film peeps buy and sell their film wares. So with my glam rags in hand I tottered across the car park, through a bag and security check, then up three flights of stairs to stand in line for the bathroom. Then, like some glitzy Superwoman, I went into the cubicle in regular clothes and came out looking like Sophia Loren in a ball gown and sparkly jewelry. Then back down all the stairs to get ready to join the line for the carpet. I must admit I was pretty nervous, so I popped into the Pavilion to say goodbye to my friends before I headed to the theatre.

    Okay, I was ready for my moment! Or was I? As I set off, prepared for my red carpet walk, I was suddenly grabbed by two producers.

    Oh no, was it another Spanx moment? Was my makeup smudged or bra strap showing? No, I was off to the red carpet with the coat hanger from my dress still in my hand! Ah, a Kelman Klassic—it will go down in my film industry history along with the Spanx hitch and the time I forgot my best friend’s name at an awards ceremony.

    The reason why "Heel-Gate" (as it became known among the press corps) is actually a problem. (photo courtesy of the author)
    The reason why “Heel-Gate” (as it became known among the press corps) is actually a problem for women who have to wear them. (photo courtesy of the author)

    Well, I finally walked the carpet and I savored every moment. Unbelievably, I made it up all the stairs without a trip as I waved to adoring fans who seemed to think my name was Emily, for some odd reason. And as I sat in the Lumiere Theatre waiting for the movie to start, I thought about the stars who would float over from the grand hotel in their finery later. I was quite sure none of them would be sporting a coat hanger.

    And as the lights went down and people cheered as the red velvet curtain was drawn to reveal the Cannes film festival logo, I was lost in the magic of story and thoughts of a girl who grew up in Birmingham, England and somehow had the good fortune to walk the red carpet in Cannes.

    Suzanne Kelman is a screenwriter and author of “The Rejected Writers Book Club.” Her writing voice has been described as a perfect blend of Janet Evanovich and Debbie Macomber. Some of her accolades include best comedy feature screenplay at the 2011 LA International Film Festival, a Gold Award at the 2012 CA Film Awards and a Van Gogh Award at the 2012 Amsterdam Film Festival. She can also sing Puff the Magic Dragon backwards! You can learn more about her on imDb.   Image at top by Kim Tinuviel

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    CLICK HERE to read more WLM stories and blogs. Have a great story idea? Let us know at info@whidbeylifemagazine.org.

    WLM stories and blogs are copyrighted and all rights are reserved. Linking is permitted. To request permission to use or reprint content from this site, email info@whidbeylifemagazine.org.

  • Sue the Screenwriter || Screenwriting, Pies and Twirling with Sheep

    Sue the Screenwriter || Screenwriting, Pies and Twirling with Sheep

    BY SUZANNE KELMAN
    Whidbey Life Magazine Contributor
    March 25, 2015

    During the Whidbey Island Writers Conference, I had the good fortune to meet and interview the delightful Chantelle Aimée Osman, who took the time out from her weekend’s busy teaching schedule to share her thoughts on screenwriting.

    The rain was pouring down outside as we sat shivering in a Coupeville school classroom on two tiny chairs with eight luminous green tennis balls affixed to their feet. I couldn’t help but smile as Osman enthused about the beauty of Whidbey Island.

    “Everywhere you look is like a ridiculously beautiful postcard! I just want to go out into a field and twirl with sheep,” she added, pulling her thick woolen coat just a little closer.

    twirling-sheepBased in Scottsdale, Arizona, she had traveled to Whidbey especially to teach workshops at the conference, and I was interested to hear about her previous experiences in the development department for a major film production company in L.A.

    Starting out in law, Osman had been invited to join the Hollywood-based film company, because it was looking for someone with both a creative and a law background. She worked her way up through the ranks from business affairs to head of story development.

    I was pleased to have her elaborate on a screenplay’s journey from script to screen. The production company she worked for would receive hundreds of screenplays weekly, she said. Those screenplays would then be passed to “readers” who worked through a checklist and a coverage sheet (a short analysis of the scripts strengths and weaknesses), sifting out the wheat from the chaff. If a good screenplay made it to the top of the pile, she would then read it herself to see if it would be a good candidate for the next scheduled development meeting. She admitted that she was always looking for that great screenplay with a spark.

    “There is a different skill set that goes into screenwriting as opposed to novel writing,” she admitted. “You very rarely found somebody who had a great story and the ability to write great dialogue. Very few times do those two things converge, and it’s those two things together that make a great screenplay.”

    Chantelle Aimee Osman
    Chantelle Aimée Osman

    She added encouragingly “there are always levels of things that can be fixed, and it is better to have great dialogue so the viewer and the reader can relate to the characters on the page. Writers who are good at writing dialogue tend, in my opinion, to make better screenwriters or playwrights.”

    It was the frustration of reading scripts that just missed the mark that led her to a desire to work with writers. Osman offers an editing and consultation service through her company, http://www.twistofkarma.com and also provides a pitch coaching service. She added that in this day and age all writers not only need to know if their work is marketable but also need to possess the skills to pitch to potential agents and producers.

    Another way a novel writer can go, she noted, is to seek a literary film agent—a person who specializes in getting books produced in Hollywood. The production company she worked for had turned many successful books into movies, reminding me about the numerous award-winning films that have started life as a book.

    “You have a much better chance as a writer of being produced by writing a successful novel and having someone else write your screenplay,” Osman said. “All production companies have in-house writers that do that.”

    But she admitted it could still take a long time to find the right fit for your work, encouraging writers to embrace their rejections from agents and producers along the way to help move them to the next level.

    “We are all rejected and you are going to be repeatedly rejected. If you’re at the beginning of this journey and you get a ‘no,’ don’t be devastated, it’s probably not the right person for you. It has got to be a symbiotic relationship; you have to like them as well as them liking you. If you do get that ‘no,’ try and take the opportunity to find out what’s not connecting with that person. It can be very informative for your work.”

    As she wound up the interview, she returned to the sheer beauty of Whidbey, talking in awe about her chat house experience the day before at the Knead and Feed Bakery in downtown Coupeville. She described the intoxicating smell of freshly baked pies, an impromptu downtown parade, even a whale sighting from the bakery window.

    “Being here is a truly unique experience,” she added thoughtfully.

    As we slid our chairs back onto the stack I couldn’t help thinking she was right; even on a damp cold day, Whidbey is really the sort of place that makes one feel they want to go outside and twirl with sheep.

    Suzanne Kelman is the author of “The Rejected Writers Book Club” and her writing voice has been described as a perfect blend of Janet Evanovich and Debbie Macomber. She is also a multi-award winning screenwriter who can sing”Puff the
    Magic Dragon” backward!

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    WLM stories and blogs are copyrighted and all rights are reserved. Linking is permitted. To request permission to use or reprint content from this site, email info@whidbeylifemagazine.org.

  • The five things I’ve learned about writing from watching Downton Abbey

    The five things I’ve learned about writing from watching Downton Abbey

    BY SUZANNE KELMAN
    January 8, 2015

    It’s the beginning of 2015; for some of you that means renewed exercise or healthier eating practices. Or maybe you’re planning on finally writing that book or screenplay. For me it is all about the return of my favorite British period drama: Downton Abbey, which follows an upper crust household now in the 1930s.

    Downton
    Downton Abbey cast (photo courtesy of the author)

    So, as we stand on the crisp precipice of 2015—I thought I would share with you five things that the “world according to Downton” has taught me about my craft.

    Lesson One: It’s all about the preparation.

    With a swish of her hand, her ladyship announces there will be a dinner party and, as if by magic, two weeks later—there it is. But that magic—as all of us adamant watchers know—takes days, if not weeks, of painstaking preparations from the folks downstairs.

    There are carpets to be rolled up, silver to be polished, flowers to be arranged, attire to be pressed, bread to raise and pheasants to pluck. Not to mention table settings that have to be measured—because God forbid that a dessert spoon be half an inch too far to the left! I get tired just watching it.

    But, this is also an important lesson for me about writing. Seamless writing takes a great deal of work. Researching, reading and rewriting can take months if not years. In my last book I rewrote some sentences not once but 30 to 40 times until they flowed as seamlessly as a Downton Ball.

    Lesson Two: Know your place in the scheme of things.

    In the British class system, everybody knew his or her place. Someone from upstairs never dallied with one from downstairs, and if one did— as a chauffeur did in the first season—that person never really fit upstairs or downstairs again. I’m not saying it’s right; it’s just the way it was.

    As writers, I think it is important to know our voice in this world. Know your strengths and stick to writing from them. I’m not saying you can’t pick another genre to write from occasionally, but on the whole, in a world with so much coming at us from every online direction, it is important for young writers to brand themselves early and write to their strengths. There is always a chance later to try something new; at least then your readership will know it is new for you, because they know what “you” means.

    Lesson Three: Know who you are but be adaptable.

    In this week’s episode, the Butler Carson uttered the ominous words, “I feel a shaking of the ground I stand on. That everything I believe in will be tested and held up for ridicule over the next few years.” He is, of course, feeling the spirit of that decade; along with the now-bobbed hair styles and shorter dress lines, a new and modern approach to living will, in fact, leave many of his ways back in the last century.

    So the next lesson from Downton is: as writers we need to know who we are but also need to be flexible and ready to change. Pieces you wrote in the 1970’s may need to be modernized to bring whatever important message you have to a brand new audience. Don’t get stuck back in dogma or antiquated thinking and language. If you want your work to be poignant and relevant to this generation, you have to get hip to this. Dig?

    Lesson Four: It’s all about the characters.

    Julian Fellowes, the creator and screenwriter of Downton, has done a superb job of creating characters we care about—people who are always growing, yet staying the same. The test of great characters for me is knowing them so well that when a story problem arises you know who is going to react. The key to really good writing is knowing this, yet constantly being surprised by the direction the character goes with that information. There is a huge difference between this and knowing exactly what that character is going to do or say. The key for us as writers is to keep notching it up, so the audience connects but is also oblivious to the next twist or turn of the story.

    Lesson Five: Create work that is timeless                                                        

    The stories that last the tests of time have universal themes that we all can relate to. There will always be room in our lives for stories that challenge us and connect us. We basically all struggle with the same issues. In Downton, they have their issues too. But, while Lady Mary is contemplating an advantageous marriage as she carries the pressure of continuing her family’s place in the world, the maid downstairs wants to learn math in order to not feel stupid. Worlds apart, they are both wrestling with the same issues: self-worth and independence. Even though their problems are antiquated to us in our modern world nearly 100 years on, we still identify with the needs of these characters. As a fellow writer I encourage you towards writing to timeless themes.

    So if writing is one of your goals in 2015 I suggest that watching Downton Abbey may be a good place to go for inspiration… like we needed a reason.

    Have a wonderful New Year everyone!

    Suzanne Kelman is an awarding-winning screenwriter of a screenplay that has recently been optioned.

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  • The Joy of Rejection: Suzanne Kelman

    The Joy of Rejection: Suzanne Kelman

    BY KATIE WOODZICK
    Whidbey Life Magazine contributor
    October 22, 2014

    Walking into Suzanne Kelman’s home is like walking into a Mary Englebreit drawing. Warmth permeates every corner. Plaid couches, colorful rugs, and sweet-smelling candles form a kaleidoscope of color, scent and pattern. Everything in the house feels well-loved and welcoming.

    Authentic English Shepherd’s Pie cooks in the oven while Suzanne sips sherry and describes her new book, “The Rejected Writers Book Club.”

    Author Suzanne Kelman (photo courtesy of Suzanne)
    Author Suzanne Kelman (photo courtesy of Suzanne)

    The book is the first in Kelman’s Southlea series, which centers on life in a small town (inspired by Langley). A librarian from California moves to Southlea and joins a book club where the women celebrate their friendship through rejection letters from publishers.

    This is Kelman’s second book. The first, “Big Purple Undies,” was co-written with her sister. They collected humorous stories and performed them on a 50-city tour of the U.S. in 2004. Memorable among the stories is “Dancing Dentures,” wherein a newly widowed woman attempts dating again, only to have her dentures flung from her mouth onto the dance floor by an overzealous potential suitor.

    The tour was successful and 50,000 copies of the book were sold to audiences around the country. The experience was rewarding but exhausting.

    “I didn’t think I’d write another book,” Kelman said.

    After the tour, Kelman focused her energies on screenwriting. “The Rejected Writers Book Club” began in 2010 as a screenplay. Kelman soon discovered that its scope was larger than anticipated.

    “There was so much more that I wanted to do with the story than I could do in 120 minutes,” she explained.

    In November of that year, Kelman participated in National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo. Thousands of writers take part in this annual international speed-writing of novels. The idea is simple: if a wordsmith commits to writing approximately 1,650 words a day for the month, by Nov. 30 they will have produced a 50,000-word rough draft.

    Kelman finished the rough draft of the book that November, set the project aside for a few months and completed the first full draft in February of the next year. She described the process of writing a novel with her trademark outrageous humor: “It’s like giving birth sideways.”

    The book cover of Suzanne's book, "The Rejected Writers Book Club"
    The book cover of Suzanne’s book, “The Rejected Writers Book Club”

    Kelman sent a polished draft to local literary agent Andrea Hurst in the summer of 2013. Encouraged by Hurst’s comments about the manuscript, she forged ahead with publishing the novel: reaching out to beta readers for feedback in August of this year, incorporating their suggestions and formatting the manuscript in Amazon CreateSpace.

    It was always Kelman’s intention to self-publish the novel. It seemed inauthentic to the message of the book to seek a publisher, given that one of the book’s overarching themes is a gleeful challenge to the way we perceive rejection.

    “What if we were to turn it on its head and make it what you desire?” Kelman asked.

    Kelman worked with to Blondie’s Custom Book Covers to create a playful cover for the book. The ladies pictured on the cover drove through a red dust storm to arrive at the Texas photo shoot.

    “The Rejected Writers Book Club” was released on Oct. 2.  When Kelman visited Moonraker Books to gauge their interest in selling the book, she was delighted to discover that local readers had already inquired about where and when they could purchase the book.

    “If you read it, it will feel very familiar to Langley. You’ll know where you are,” Kelman explained. “People who love the quirkiness of small towns will enjoy this book.”

    Kelman has already finished the second and third books of the series and will start writing the fourth in November. She considers the series a thank-you letter to Langley, celebrating the absurdities of life and the heart of small towns.

    Above all, her goal is to bring joy and laughter to her readers.

    “I never intended to be Toni Morrison,” she quipped.

    Just beyond the title page of the book is Kelman’s tribute to her husband of 23 years and her 15-year-old son: “Dedicated to Matthew and Christopher, my soul supporters.”

    Suzanne with husband Matthew and son Christopher (photo courtesy of Suzanne Kelman)
    Suzanne with husband Matthew and son Christopher (photo courtesy of Suzanne)

    Kelman knows exactly what kind of legacy she wants to leave as a writer.

    “One hundred years from now, I want people to say, ‘Yeah, I knew Suzanne Kelman—she made me laugh.’”

    Readers can buy “The Rejected Writers Book Club” at Moonraker Books and Amazon. Kelman will be at the Whidbey Island Writers Conference in Coupeville October 24-26, where signed copies of the book will be available for purchase.

    (Photo at the top: Suzanne Kelman photographed by Sue Averett)

    Katie Woodzick works at Hedgebrook as an External Relations Manager. She is also an actor and director who can be seen on local stages. She is currently playing Little Red Riding Hood in “Into the Woods,” which runs through October 25 at Whidbey Island Center for the Arts.

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  • Sue the Screenwriter | You can’t miss the road less traveled; it’s third on the left with the dark winding pathways, occasional sinkholes, and very unexpected twists and turns

    Sue the Screenwriter | You can’t miss the road less traveled; it’s third on the left with the dark winding pathways, occasional sinkholes, and very unexpected twists and turns

    BY SUZANNE KELMAN
    Oct. 17, 2014

    When I first got married, I bought a guinea pig.

    I just couldn’t resist his sweet face with his eyes too close together and his rosettes of ginger and white fur. I was already half way home with him in his little brown box before it occurred to me he would need a cage. Enter the handsome, strapping new bridegroom we shall call “Hun.” I told “Hun” about the problem and, wanting to prove his worth, he spent the entire weekend making lots of sawing and banging noises, while Ging (the very deep meaningful name I had given to the furry pom-pom) and I watched.  Ta da! Ging had a new home.

    A couple of days later as I sat watching Ging chew on a dandelion leaf, it occurred to me that this little fella was probably lonely all on his own. After further thought I made a decision.  Off I went again to the pet shop and bought a beautiful soft grey rabbit I called Sophie to keep him company. Pleased with myself, I popped Sophie into the cage to meet her new friend; Sophie went in and Ging came flying out on the back end of her paw. She was having none of him.  Guess what Hun spent that weekend doing?

    Now two cages later I still hadn’t solved the problem of Ging’s loneliness, so being extra smart this time I decided to buy a nice little boy guinea pig for him to play with.  Surely that would solve the problem. It did; they seemed to get on great. Ging purred and shook all over when he met him and I was finally satisfied.

    It was about a month later that we found out Ging’s new favorite friend wasn’t a boy after all…you know the end of this story, right?  Let’s just say there was a lot of banging and sawing weekends that followed. 10711012_10152277256536637_7083028977912030782_n

    I think life can sometimes feel like that—and the creative life can for sure. Often as artists we are responding to the next need, the loudest voice, the one that calls to us hysterically that day.  The need to make money, the need to serve the market, the need to further our career.  Sometimes even our muse gets a look in. I often wonder if the great artists of the past ever got an inkling of what they would become to the world, of what their legacy would be. Or if they, like me, got up each day and started building the most urgent cage because that was what needed to be done.

    Five years ago I wrote my first screenplay and fell in love. Many screenplays followed, and screenwriting became my passion. And even though my work has been optioned three times, and I have lots of awards to show for work well done, the film industry is a slow track. A couple of years into being a full-time screenwriter I realized that in order to keep going I needed to make money another way. It was then that I had a brainwave to write a book to subsidize my screenwriting habit.

    The book cover of Suzanne's book, "The Rejected Writers Book Club"
    The book cover of Suzanne’s book, “The Rejected Writers Book Club”

    Three weeks ago I actually got to hold that newborn book: “The Rejected Writers Book Club.”  It was all sexy in its brand new glossy cover, and I couldn’t believe how proud I was of it. I had done it, finished something I hoped would help fund my screenwriting career.  Off it went into the world with its knapsack on its back to earn its living.

    Over the past couple of weeks the most extraordinary thing has started to happen. People writing to me to tell me they really liked it, people telling me they couldn’t put it down, people who even loved it.  Then it started getting five-star ratings on Amazon.  I was totally bemused.  The work I thought was just another guinea pig cage—a means to an end—had started to take off and fly with a life of its own.  I know this sounds odd, but I never expected people to actually like it.  This isn’t some sort of vague modesty; I just wanted people in China to buy it so I could make a little money to continue my real career which is screenwriting…or is it?

    As I find myself pondering this new interesting twist of circumstances—people loving and buying my work—I am thoughtful and excited. And it’s the truth that we really don’t know as we travel the road less traveled where that next bend or twist will lead, or if this guinea-pig cage is actually the one.

    Suzanne Kelman is an awarding-winning screenwriter and published author, her new book “The Rejected Writers Book Club” is available on Amazon or locally at Moonraker Books in Langley.

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  • Sue the Screenwriter | The Curious Business of Writing

    Sue the Screenwriter | The Curious Business of Writing

    BY SUZANNE KELMAN
    August 1, 2014

    Being a writer is a curious business. I have just completed a 67’000-word novel. Yes, I said 67’000 words. I had to write it twice, because I felt every one of those words—and I’m in shock. I’m in shock because I’m not a writer.

    I started writing by accident, or necessity or some other twist of fate, but definitely not on purpose—a bit like in the movie “Forest Gump,” where one day Forest just starts running and becomes a runner. And even though I have been “writing” full-time for five years and have received numerous awards for my writing, I have yet to claim the title. Maybe you can relate. I struggle to accept this fact because I feel a fraud; you see, I don’t really fit the writer mold as I see it. Here is my checklist:

    1) A writer is a deep thinker that sucks the marrow out of every piece of life and then commits it to words in a cavalcade of poignant and wonderful observations. My first draft of anything is somewhere between Dr. Seuss and e.e. cumming (in a bad way.)

    2) A writer is good at spelling and understands all the grammar rules. I can’t even finish a sentence without three dives into a dictionary, four battles with the squiggly red lines and a ‘cut and paste job’ into “Grammarly” (the online equivalent of a stern grammar ma’am).

    3) Even a writer’s emails sound poetic. Mine: once again—a jumble of thoughts and run-on sentences with at least half the words missed out.

    4) Writers are often tortured and inwardly focused. I’m a “Hello-Dolly-happy-go-lucky” kind of character, normally waking up chirpy, in love with the world. I couldn’t feel tortured if I tried. I like my life, my home, my family and my friends.

    5) A writer has a desk, dictionary and endless hours of peace and quiet. I do most my writing on my coffee table, or in bed, normally juggling a cat and dog on my lap, writing at the speed of light before the rest of my world crashes in to steal my time.

    But even though I haven’t claimed the title of any of the above, this is what I get up and do everyday: I write. So how did this happen? Well, honestly, I don’t know and even if I did, I’m not tortured, smart or deep enough to put it into words. But I do know this:

    Firstly, I’m curious. I’m curious about life, about people, about things and places and times. I have to explore the world around me and writing is my medium of choice, my weapon of translation. I pass a man hunched over in a bookshop in London and even if it’s the briefest of glances, just a quick glimpse between total strangers, there is something about him I need to investigate. My mind whirls with a hundred different scenarios; I have to create a world for him to live in so I can understand him. His name is Joe; he has a dog, a black Labrador. He met his lost true love in this bookshop on a Saturday, so every week he comes back to remember a time gone by.

    Secondly, I write to get the characters I see and hear out of my head. I recognize there is a fine line between this and a trip to the special place with a padded cell but, nevertheless, it’s true. Imaginary people—my characters—talk to me. They follow me around while I’m cooking dinner, and it’s just easy to get them onto paper where they can cause less trouble, like wrangling a toddler into a playpen.

    Thirdly, I write to entertain myself. I grew up in a home where people said funny stuff all day, so I guess it is my own way of recreating my childhood. Some people build sand castles or model airplanes; I create funny people, saying funny stuff and doing funny things.

    What you may notice about all of these practices is none of them are for other people. However, once you have completed a piece of work, the writer is supposed to send it out to the world.

    So now I stand at a brand new threshold to release my book—“The Rejected Writer’s Book Club,” a quirky comedy about love, loss and friendship—out into the world and I wonder: how will other people respond? As I throw open the door and shake out the nest, I stand in awe and wonder what this next step will bring…a bit like sending a child out into the world.

    Will my book the cross between “The Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood” and “The Jane Austin Book Club” sit up straight in other people’s company? Say the right thing and remember not to slurp its soup? Will people love all those crazy characters as I have? And will they get them?

    Good or bad, it’s time for the world to receive it now. And maybe, just maybe, I will think again about calling myself a writer.

    Yes, being a writer is a curious business, all right.

    Suzanne Kelman is an awarding-winning screenwriter of a screenplay that has recently been optioned.

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  • Sue the Screenwriter | From Script to Screen: The journey of ‘Our Father’

    Sue the Screenwriter | From Script to Screen: The journey of ‘Our Father’

    BY SUZANNE KELMAN
    Whidbey Life Magazine Contributor
    May 16, 2014

    As a storyteller, I have the privilege of telling stories, and as a filmmaker, I have the pleasure of telling stories in lots of unique and interesting ways. Over the last couple of months I have had the opportunity to create a story from a different perspective; instead of as a writer or director, I joined Linda Palmer’s team—Runaway Productions—as one of her Associate Producers and I really enjoyed the experience.

    Always fascinated by a story’s journey from script to screen, I caught up with Palmer to talk about the project.

    “Our Father” starring Michael Gross, is Linda’s production company’s eighth film and is one close to her heart—one she felt compelled to tell. Based on an experience with her own family, it is a poignant story of how, through a fleeting moment of clarity, dementia opened a portal to her father’s past and a love he was denied—a glimpse that provided understanding and began to heal her family.

    (Four of the cast members, left to right: Michael Worth, Michael Gross, Eileen Grubba and David Topp Photo by Malik Sooch)
    Four of the cast members, left to right: Michael Worth, Michael Gross, Eileen Grubba and David Topp  (Photo by Malik Sooch)

    The journey through pre-production was an interesting one, Palmer admitted. In the beginning, she found it challenging to get talent attached because it was a “short” and most agents don’t want actors to do shorts. But spurred on by the encouraging response from a script reading and from those around her, she continued to send it out to agents and entered it into competitions, where it did very well.

    Eventually her persistence paid off; the script was seen by Michael Gross, who is known for his role in “Family Ties” and “Tremors,” and who wanted be involved. Having had a family member who had suffered with Alzheimer’s disease for many years, he was very understanding and sensitive to the subject matter. So much so, in fact, that he told Palmer, the writer on the project, that he didn’t want to change her script at all. He prepared for the role by spending time with dementia caregivers and sufferers so he could really understand the disease.

    Other gifted actors also became attached to the project after Michael Gross signed on, including Eileen Grubba, “Sons of Anarchy; Michael Worth, “God’s Ear;” Ally Iseman, “Criminal Minds;” Julia Silverman, “Grey’s Anatomy;” Isaiah Lucas, “Waiting in the Wing;” Patrick Censoplano, “Fame;” Aaron Stall, “The Ruffian” and David Topp, who just won “Best Performance in a Short” at the 35th Young Artists Award ceremony.

    (Michael Worth and Michael Gross in a scene from the film "Our Father." Photo by Malik Sooch)
    Michael Worth and Michael Gross in a scene from the film “Our Father”  (Photo by Malik Sooch)

    Admitting she is a very collaborative filmmaker, she also surrounded herself with a remarkable team of creative individuals and a group of associate directors, introduced to her by Hal Croasman of Screenwriting U, which is how I connected with her.

    Palmer worked with Hal on a previous movie when one of her soundtrack songs was an Oscar contender, and he suggested she approach the Screenwriting U Alum to champion her cause. We came together—most of us from all over the country—to support her vision. It was a fascinating experience for me and I enjoyed every aspect of it, from reading the script to seeing the storyboards and the footage of the final auditions. Palmer did a great job keeping all her producers connected on the project and through our own Facebook group.

    “Having everyone share this story and be a part of its process is what is going to make this a successful movie,” Palmer said.

    Now that the movie has wrapped, she has moved onto post-production and preparations for the film festival circuit at festivals such as Sundance, where I think it will do very well.

    Adding one last story to the film’s journey, Palmer talked about a moment during the audition process when she was preparing the two young actors to play their scene. I said to them, “it is this moment, it is this moment in this man’s life—and because he can’t have this person, he is denied this person, it is going to make him the way he is. So everything the two of you bring to these characters comes from this one moment, the entire story is because of this moment.”

    This is one of the many reasons I personally love to write—the treasure of being able to delve into and explore the core of human experience that is shaped by an invisible chain of such moments.

    Thank you, Linda, for a great experience and for your passion to tell a story. You are a true inspiration.

    (Photo at top: Four cast members: (l to r) Michael Worth, Michael Gross, Eileen Grubba and David Topp  Photo by Malik Sooch)

    Suzanne Kelman is an awarding-winning screenwriter of a screenplay that has recently been optioned.

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  • Screenwriter Bob Nelson to Attend March 16 Screening of ‘Nebraska’ at The Clyde in Langley

    Screenwriter Bob Nelson to Attend March 16 Screening of ‘Nebraska’ at The Clyde in Langley

    BY SUZANNE KELMAN
    Whidbey Life Magazine contributor
    March 12, 2014

    They may have rolled up the red carpet on the awards season in Hollywood but here, in Freeland, screenwriter Bob Nelson is rolling up his sleeves.

    The winner of an Independent Spirit Award and nominee for a screenwriting Academy Award, Nelson is just back from a month of ceremonies, parties and promotional dinners. Now he’s more than ready to get back to work, focusing all his attention on three new film projects and a TV pilot.

    If you think that seems fast, bear in mind Nelson wrote “Nebraska” ten years ago and has been keeping himself busy working on studio projects while waiting for the film’s release.

    Bob Nelson
    Bob Nelson writing at home (photo credit Ralph Bevins, The Seattle Channel)

    A lot of the work he was doing down on the Hollywood circuit last month was helping to create a buzz about his new projects. Two of the films he was promoting are potentially destined for the independent market and he hopes they will both do well at film festivals such as Sundance.

    The first film Nelson has written is for the talented comedian/actor Joel McHale, commonly seen as a host on “The Soup.” McHale is someone Nelson remembers from his work on “Almost Live,” a Seattle-based sketch comedy series the writer worked on back in the 90s.

    The movie, inspired by true events, is the story of the first female softball players on an Indian reservation. Nelson explained that the money raised from Native American casinos gave a reservation enough money to build their own high school, thus enabling them to create their first ever softball team.

    Nelson is in the process of developing the script with John Malkovich’s production company, Mr. Mudd, which also produced the movie “Juno.”

    The second film he is working on, once again with the producers of “Nebraska,” is inspired by an old Italian movie called “The Bicycle Thieves,” which was originally released in 1948.

    For both of these projects, he is not only the screenwriter, but also intends to take a stab at the director’s chair. Nelson acknowledged that the time he spent on his last movie gave him the encouragement needed to accept this new challenge.

    The poster for"Nebraska" starring Bruce Dern
    The poster for”Nebraska” starring Bruce Dern

    “For my first screenplay,” Nelson said, “I got to collaborate with one of the best; that’s the reason I’m going to try and direct, because I’ll never be that lucky again. But…after making “Nebraska,” I’m taking this new one out and Alexander [Payne, director of “Nebraska”] has asked to read it. Now I have this mentor who will read my screenplays and give me great notes.”

    As far as “Nebraska” goes, it seems that the “luck” appeared to go both ways.  It takes a remarkable story to be nominated for so many prestigious awards (11 nominations, just for screenwriting) and as humble as Nelson is about his contribution, one has to believe his own talent has a great deal to do with its success. It will be exciting to see how his career develops over the next few years.

    Despite being busy, Nelson is still taking time to talk about his work on “Nebraska.” If you’d like the opportunity to meet him, he will be doing a Q&A after a showing of the movie at The Clyde Theatre in Langley at 7:30 p.m. on March 16.

    For more details about the event visit The Clyde’s website at www.theclyde.net.

    (photos courtesy of Bob Nelson)

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